every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
