Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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