Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
