you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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