Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
