no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize