Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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