it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
