no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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