The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
