so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i came on her dog
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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