Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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