Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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