google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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