Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
