i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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