New low: just hacked my moms facebook
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
