So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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