There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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