I think I died a long time ago.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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