just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize