I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
