i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize