Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
