I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
