alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
