come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
