he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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