I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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