How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
