It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
