Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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