I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize