I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
