Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
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