But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
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