why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
