Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
