it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Randomize