Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Randomize
