but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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