I'll bet she douches with gravy.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
As shirtless as possible
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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