I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
