I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
