She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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