I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
