i would punch a child for taco bell
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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