u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Enjoy the penises
This couple is walking their pig around campus
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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