Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize