why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
