Just fell off a train. Bad.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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