I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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