it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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