Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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