don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize
