Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I want a musical about memes.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
