i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
