it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
my shit smells like andre
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
