Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize