I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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