at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
