i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
