Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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