trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
my being single is dangerous.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
