For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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