Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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