hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Your dad touched me again.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
