I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
