I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I have surprise drugs for everyone
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
dude. I can hear the air.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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