My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
