I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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