party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
