:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
