You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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