physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
