Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
