I didn't shave. On purpose
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
