come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
The adults are the big ones right?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
