carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
