is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
