It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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