She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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