Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize