i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
