just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
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