Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
