Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
