If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
